start of term 2 week 2...emaths test tmrw and many more followin up..sianz..studies is like gettin on my nerves:(( but for NA2, i wil do my best, for my last fac, i wil strive for the best and im sure i cn achieve at least B3 for all sub..NA2, jiayous together k?
cnt wait for thurs and fri, coz cn c <3, miss my dumb dumb alot alot..3 more days to 8th month..time kinda passed quickly..dumb dumb is the longest bf i had now..and the oni 1 my parents noe bout..fish, i love u alot alot wors..hopefully, u wont break ur promise and hope we last for a lifetyme yeah? hahas..dumb dumb, without u, i dono how to be like b4 anymore..i cannot imagine a life without u anymore..don ever leave me alrights?..
Norman, u are workin hard towards ur goal yeah? be sure to noe tt im behind u all the way..im sure u cn achieve wat u wan and get into ACJC..hahas..remmeber our deal uh? every sat studyin together, workin hard towards our goal..don let anytin else affect u k? BEST FRIEND FOR LIFE!.love ya yeah?
tmrw NA2 leader gg do smth tt she planned for a long tyme..good luck my friend..everitin wil be fine in the end for u de..u nv giv up, nv stop believin and here i pray for the best for u..im sure everitin wil turn out fine for u..im sure u wil be the happy and blissful gal like b4..they wil realise tt u r impt to them..though i dono alot, though im nt a reali close/good frien, but sincerely, i wish u all the best :D to the rest of NA2, ur changed me too..changed my view of sj..anw, for rhon and eileen, good luck in ur love life..for darlin no.1, good luck for ur studies.. by the end of tis yr, everitin wil be fine and good for all members of NA2 yeah? hahas..best team of all! NA2! :D love ur all..
07, tis is gg to be out last year together in tis sch! aft tis year, we wil go to different schools..but noe tt in my heart, we r the guilty gang, the tekans we went thru together, the joy/sadness/happiness we been thru wil oways be in my heart..we r gonna pass out soon.all the best for all out studies yeah? aft we graduate, lets meet up at least twice a year..nv forget out friendship okay? i promised i wil remember guilty gang forever and ever..
tian kor, don worry too much bout me yeah? anitin happen i wil bear all responsibilities myself..i noe u care for me and im thankful to hv a wonderful kor like u..jux noe tt i wil oways be ur mei..hehe..and wish u last long wif her yeah? hahas :D
i realised i've changed, im realli more heartless..im jux turnin bad and i noe tt i cn hide my emotions from everybody...u! happi i turn out like tt now? when u snatched everitin i had, ever tot i would turn liddat? ever tot 1 day i wil take my revenge? im tellin u..watch out for i might jux stab u right in the back wifout u knowin it till its too late..i aready said, don try my, don push me to my limits..
im controlin my emotions..but somehow i oso hv tis sadness tt pierce right thru my heart everytyme i tink bout sometings..the feelin is intolerable..so painful till i cry..so heartwrenchin til i hav to grab my chest for the pierce of sadness and loneliness is jux so..indescribable..im scared i wil be a cold-blooded person soon, a person tt feels pain but don show it..feels sadness but turns it into revenge..i dowanna be liddat..but if i do, blame oni 1 person, 1 person tt is jux 16 yrs old..if i reali do, people, jux leave me to die, to get my retribution in the end..im jux prayin i wont be like tis..
its been long since i wrote such a long post..people i mentioned r people i care bout other thn my family..tis people i wil nv betray or changed my attitude..no matter how much i changed, ur wil be the oni group of people im thankful to hav..the oni group i love forever.. weird ting is i dono y im writin tis as a dedication or smth..jux suddenly wrote out my feelings for some people i truly cherished and care..and somehow as i write tis post..tears jux start to gather in my eyes..
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
2nd post for today..tis aint a nice post..hopefuly u wil read tis..
i don care who the hell u r or wat kind of a high postion u hold in people's heart..since start of tis yr, tt incident..u changed me, prob i shld thank u..u change me to be an even more heartles person..the tears i fall for ur, for how ur treated me wil never be forgotten..every single tear i dropped make me hate u more..i do not hate the rest..oni u, ur self-centered brain, attention-seekin personality and wateva u r cause me to be who i am today, to lose wat i hav..don tink u r awesome..so wat if u r the biggest in class? i don giv a damn..anyone wif brain wil noe who im tokin bout..for wateva u cause me, i wil pay u bac 10 tymes more..and i mean it..the dislike for u is increasing everyday..u make me disgusted..one day, i swear, u wil go thru wat i hv gone thru..but i wil make it 10 tymes worse..
if u r wonderin y im oni mentionin tis/writin bout tis now..the reason is simple: because u take me for someone who u tink gives a damn or hope to be bac wif ur..don ever take me for granted..don ever talk to me to help u do smth..don ever command be to do anitin..jux coz i didn treat u the way i treat BK doesn mean i wil nv do so..don push me to my limits..u wont wan to try wat i cn do..
even though i didn mention any name..its so obvious who the damn gal im tokin bout is..i noe i sound like a bitch..if anyone don like wat they r readin..u cn jux click away from tis page..i reali don care wat people tink of me..and i wont let people step over my head..
okay..im reali not constant wif my updatin of blog..
hmm..sch has started for 3 days and till now its been kinda stressful..jux 3 days and i hv tons of upcomin tests ahead..haiz:( but tis yr is the final leg for my sec sch life..muz chiong..i reali mux start to chiong my studies..
march hol was the best hol i ever spent..coz tt dumb dumb came to find me almost everyday..and i now realised i last tyme realli tink too much...now 1 less ting to worry bout..so wif <3 by my side i cn concentrate on SJ and Studies..last ting i wil do for Sj tis yr is to go bac help out for anco'10..aft june it wil reali be about studies studies and studies and of coz <3..
oh, bought a rabbbit on sunday..named pokka..shes so so so cute..am totally in love wif her..she's like a pet for me and <3 in a way..lols..
tmrw dumb dumb comin find me and hopfullly every thurs he will too..muacks, love u lots..hahas..
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Bloggin wif my iphone again..reason being im too tired to on my com..lols
today trainin was jux like eff up.other than the part on fac, the rest was sucky.. Sec 1s, i doubt any of u wil read tis blog but if anyone of u do..pls noe tt i dowanna scold ur as well, but ur hav to start buckin up and giv the respect to ur seniors and ncos..ur hav enough common sense to noe wat is right and and wat is wrong.. Oso, i noe u don mean it, yeah, i noe my squad sux, i noe the commanders sux..bt even if u r jokin, its nt tt nice either..not everyone cn treat anitin as a joke..i noe i suck, u dono hv to emphasis it..
Anw, on a lighter note..im kinda hyper..thanks to u<3..but i hv been undergg too much unhappiness tt i cant believe or accept any form of happiness, it jux feels so unreal..
Monday, March 8, 2010
change my blogskin..kinda love it, kinda express wat i feel..
anw, i duno wat the hell is wrong wif my blog..cant change font or colour..urgh!!! hate tis..someone tell me how to solve..
tis few days hv been undergg some rough patches..talk to some people and i realli dono wat shld i do? folo wat everyone says or folo my heart?
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Been a long tyme since i last posted..shall update usin my iphone today..
To summarise, these month has been a hell of a disaster.. Stressed up and everitin..Sj is reali takin its toll on me..i regretted wat i said to my sec 1s yesterday..but well, hopefully they realise tt my high expectations is for their own good..but it jux make me tired of sj, of studies, of everitin.. Mayb i shld do wat my aunt said, get out of all responsibilities and giv myself free space and tyme..but i cnt jux drop everitin.. I realise tt people r reali creatures tt r so fake..y cnt we jux live without our masks and without lies..wont tt make the place we live in a beta place? We oni hv a few decades of life, to lie and be fake, tinkin of oni ourselves, all for the sake of our interest..do we reali wan tt kind of life? Its so miserable and sad..but tis is life i guess and we cnt change wat people tink..
Anw, ATC is in another 6 days and im so nt lookin forward to it..07 seems to be changin, everyone seem to stop bein enthu bout sj..i reali hope we cn be like b4..we r stil close but nt tt close anymore..07, cn we ever go bac to wat we used to be? I reali hope we do..
Lastly, HAPPY BDAY Norman! BFFL yeah? Come to tink of it, we known each other for 5 years plus aready..nt tt long but nt too short either..thank u for bein thr when i need someone to tok to and u cn be sure i wil be thr when u need me:) enjoy ur bday yeah? And stay happy oways..love ya bestie:)
i miss u dear..u seem to be busy and text me lesser le..but well, i understand..we lasted 7 mnths plus le..and i love u..last long yeah? Haha..hope to meet u soon..although i doubt u visit my blog..i <3 u ttm..
stay here and do tagged..^^
It's Amanda aka Venomous Gal
5 nov '94, scorpio
Gan Eng Seng School
feel free to add me, i wont bite:D