Nowhr to express how i feel.oni here. I so wan to open my window and jump down, guess no one realise how alone i am, if nt for bffl and baby, i wil reali jump. I dono wat kind of a family i hav..i oways go out? For the first half of tis month, i go out to study, but all i get is doubt and kaobei-in, thn i work so hard for fuck? No one bothers bout the effort i put in..its aft Os, i wan to go out and relax, and meet wif my frends, but wat ur say? Tt son of ur start holiday earlier thn me, thn cn everiday go out? Do ur even treat me as a part of tis family? I aready tryin my best don add on to tis le, i come home and stay in my rm..10 hrs i in my rm do nth, dowan go out..i leave my rm awhile oni, c till ur thn kena scold, WAT THE FUCK DO UR WAN? I DIE THN CAN ISIT? THN TEL ME, I NOW JUMP DOWN FOR YOUR. have been hittin and hurtin myself for the past 10 hrs, ur happi now? From now on, i wont even ask/beg ur for permission.i'l go out whenever i wan, ur wan scold jiu scold la, wan beat jiu beat k? If nt kick me out of the house, best! Ur happi can le, in tis house, im the one gettin all tis fuckin shit okay? Y the fuck did u giv birth to me? I hate tis family, hate this house..
Baby, don worry bout me. I miss u.<3 Oni u cn make me smile aft all the shit tt happens, thanks. Nv ever leave me:)
Fml.seriously, cn ur jux stop it? I die oso my prob okay, jux don care bout me..i nv belonged to tis family.
Wish ur wif me.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Sometymes i wonder if parents noe y teenagers get rebellious..me and BFFL hv come to an conclusion y. Parents oways doubt their child, no matter wat they do, as long as they r in their teens, they tink we r in our rebellious stage, but who the hell made us rebellious? Its parents who keep questionin us, keep doubtin us..sayin tings wifout considerin for our feelings.. We r nt young, receive good education, enough education to noe wats right and wats wrong..yet, they oways tink we r in the wrong.. As parents, how many understand their child, in order nt to get scolded, all children lie, cnt say the truth, coz parents always scold wifout tinkin, we hav feelings as well.. If we keep quiet, we r showin attitude, if we talk back, we r rude.so wtf shld we do? In our short life, 1/4 of it is controlled by our effin parents, might as well don live.. If all tis crap happens again, i swear, once i turn 18, no one cn control me.if reali drive me to a corner, i'l do wat i tel BFFL..doesn matter if im gg to suffer outside alone, at least i don get controlled..alone is beta thn tis loneliness i have in tis family..
Sunday, November 14, 2010
good ting bout havin an ifone is u can update/blog anytyme..lol=.="
tmrw is last day of Os, aft tmrw its freeeeeeedom....gona look for jobs and prom shopping on tuesday..sianxzor! work, so many tings happen..i so wanna go out and come home late everiday..mayb get more thn 1 job? hopefully bahs..
hmm, i wonder when i wil dare to announce..i love u.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
12.02 am: i cant slp..
Anw, woke up feelin crappy, and realised my limbs ache like hell..sianzxor! 1 more day to my big project wif lovely babes QQ&NY! :D
Daddy bought me an ifone 4 for my bday.:) lazy to change all my tings so gona use it nxt wk i guess..
U keep appearin in my mind, its like every single thought has u..i <3 u ttm!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Hmm..shld hav posted tis 2 days ago! Thanks to all who celebrated my bday for me..thank god tis yr curse didn happen..
I love u.
stay here and do tagged..^^
It's Amanda aka Venomous Gal
5 nov '94, scorpio
Gan Eng Seng School
feel free to add me, i wont bite:D