i reali dono wht tings wil come to tis stage... icn oni hope and pray tt tings wil be fine soon..i wont disturb u..take care..i wil wait..
on a lighter note, im happy thanks to daddy and mummy nt sayin no straightaway, i may hav hope..angels, gods, help me achieve tis pls...
i miss u.
Friday, August 20, 2010
today, logged into dpa acct, and dpa was unsuccessful..oh well, i expected it.. now im neither here nor there...
went to see glion agent for singapore and realised tt i wan to get into hospitality..but, mummy don let, daddy didn try but cfm wont..money is also a prob i tink..urge to ask grandma if she would lend me..she last tyme said she would..but i tink if i asked, parents wil be unhappi.. now i hav to work extremely hard, to either persuade my parents or to get into vet course...which wil oso require me to go overseas smtymes..i wonder whether i wil hav enough money by thn.or i worked so hard and come to be a nobody...smtymes heaven jux wanna play a prank on me huh...i wanted so much to get into vet course, but dpa unsuccessful and usin o lvl might as wel asked me to die..haix...thn now...wat shld i do? :(
dear, we seem to hav lesser topics to tok bout..i wanna tok to u all day but im afraid im irritatin u...if oni u noe...i reali miss u..<3
life is so unfair.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
its reali been tiring..everiday go sch is jux doin wrkshts and wrkshts...im realli tired..haiz..o lvl is reali takin its toll..scarly i cnt even hang in until o lvls..:(
dear, i miss u.. oways so busy huh? haha...muz study hard for ur n lvls k? i love u.:)
i wanna giv up..day by day..
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
bac to blog..today was pretty sian..6 periods of humanities..wtf cn? like seriously, tis aint gona work for a long term, we would be brain dead..stupid timetable..
aft sch dear came find me thn went my house study..awhile ltr, we talked bout the past, and both of us cried..at least now everitin is cleared up..i cn try to let go le..finally.. when dear cried, it pierced my heart, but now i noe dear love me..hopefuly as much as i love him.. dear, u regretted it, i cn see..thanks for tellin..although i feel guilty, but im happi, at least we wont hav to dwell on the past..
Sunday, August 15, 2010
smtyme i wish im nt given birth into tis family..it jux hurts when im the ventin machine..everyone nt happi come find me..well, im jux fated to live tis life bahs, when many don like me..
anw, im gona blog bout KBOX FAMILY..by request of sokting mummy..hehe:P
hmm, i oso dono wat to blog leiis..except tt ur r a awesome awesome family :D nice ttm! and yeah, to daddy rii, imma so sry when i was rude to u in sms..wasnt in a gd mood ma..haha..and mummy broke her promise:( she say wil msg me everiday de..aww:( haha..to daddy tx, i noe u need tyme to accept my decision but yeah...meimei! he cfm don come my blog but stil..u r so cute! hav fun in uni..hehe..
to my siblings: heya! we nv go study for a while le...anw, jy for o lvls...all jyjy..gd luck..<3>
thanks for everiting dear, u nv fail to made me smile :D <33
Saturday, August 14, 2010
back bloggin aft 1 day..:D today started wif dumb dumb wakin me up wif mornin cal :) thanks.. thn went sch for chinese lesson and compre workshop..shanti benjamin is such a joker..me laugh til my stomach hurts... thn went simlim wif jace to buy my iphone cover..i like it.. went funan mac to meet BFFL and thn studied...went home at 5.30..tts pretty much how i spent my day..
i dono y, but my 'frends' seem to be further apart from me..sayin i changed and all..does it reali matter? im stil amanda, don tel me ur don change..im sick and tired of tryin to please everyone..so u noe wat? im jux gg to live life MY way..if no one likes it, thn i guess i wil jux accept the fact im losin frends..anw, from the start, i don hav many frends to begin wif..
dear, i jux don hav faith in myself tt i cn keep u wif me forever..even though u said u wil wan me forever..but im afraid..i promise u i would try to nt be so emo..im tryin..but..well..im sry if i keep upsettin u.. jux noe tt i love u, more thn anyone else, more thn anitin else..<3
Friday, August 13, 2010
gonna blog again..its been kinda long since i blogged quite frequently..i guess... anw, today was o lvl eng exam and its pretty screwed up..like gosh, the topics stun me like hell and i was freakin nervous..:S realise i hav been kind of slackin..amanda ho! u gotta start muggin! haiz...y muz thr be exams lei? oh well, got to face the facts..
i've been pretty unfair to dear recently..keep throwin tantrum, emoin to him...wat the hel is wrong wif me? i keep makin him upset..im sry..i hope u noe i don mean it..i couldn trust u as much as before..but u hav proven to me..i jux need tyme..sry... mayb i jux don hav faith in myself tt i hav the ability to keep u by my side forever.. i got to learn to be more optimistic.. i love u dumb<3
Saturday, August 7, 2010
finally pop..was filled wif mixed feelings..for one, i didn wanna pass out and leave my sec 1s and 07..i noe it wouldn be the same anymore..but im happi to see the sec 3s steppin up..i wil miss all my tymes in sj as a cadet, as a nco..
to my sec 1s, ur probably wont read tis blog..but if any one u do, tel the rest to come and read tis post.
it has been nice and honoured being ur nco..when i was first given tis post to be a new batch of commander, i wasnt happi, coz i didn like to teach everitin from the beginnin, ur cn see..coz i oways expect alot from ur..but now, i appreciate it..watchin ur from the tyme ur came into sj, to ur first punishment, first tyme doin drills, first tyme learnin all tis tings so foreign to ur..my method of teachin is different..i noe ur hav undergone alot of push-ups, punishments..and i oso noe ur do curse behind me.haha..
its nice knowin tt ur hav the endurance to go thru all tis..and didn gav up, didn quit..im reali and truly proud of ur..ur r indeed my sec 1s..i hope ur can keep up and be one of the batch tt made a different to the GESS SJAB.
i didn noe how much ur mean to me until yesterday..when i gav command for ur to go home..it seems like me endin my job as ur commander..and i cnt believe i cried in front of ur as well..do believe me when i say tt ur made a huge difference in my sj life..i wil come bac to sj and i wil wan to see ur btach do smth outstandin k? i dono if ur wil remember me..but i wil nv forget ur..i love ur intake '10.
we finally passed out..i wil miss all the tymes we hav tog..tis yr we don seem to be so close anymore..i hope it is coz of our exams and we wil stil be as close aft our n and o lvls..hopefully we cn meet up as much as possible..ur made my sj life meaningful, though i noe thr is internal conflict..but i hope ur remember tt no matter wat happen, we r and will oways be guilty gang, forever united as one..forever 07..i'll miss u..07 FTW...<3
to dumb dumb:
haha..abit weird to include u in tis post..seein tt tis is a sj post..but who cares..
thanks for comin bac into my life, for changin for me..for lovin me like u nv did before..i wil oways love u..sry if i keep upsettin u..haha..cnt wait to see u again..everytyme im wif u..tyme flies..<3>
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
hav no idea wat to blog bout..tok bout dumb dumb bahs... he has been realli nice to me..will he be so nice to be forever? dear u must hor..haha... 4 days since we patched..and im pretty sure i didn make the wrong decision:D although smtymes i stil am afraid history wil happen..but...i hope it wont.. every 11:11 i made the same wish..and i hope tis wish wil come true..i reali hope it does... i don like seeing dear sianx but he oways is..dear ar, don oways so sian k? :) now got me le stil sian meh? oops..i sound bhb..oh well..
anw, im gg to sidetracked.. to u..i noe u wont ever see my blog..but tis tyme i hope u do..im sry for hurtin u..don waste ur tyme on me anymore..
to my dumb dumb, dear i love u..it has been reali nice tis few days and thanks for being sweet to me..u oways made me smile..<3
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
been awhile since i posted..the oni reason y im postin is coz tt dumb dumb ask me to.
aft a big round, we r bac tog again..i reali hope u wil nt hurt me again..i decided to take a last risk, coz i noe tt no matter how much i try i couldn let u go.. i hope u didn change for temporary, but forever..i like the change in u now, whr u actually care for me, care bout me.. i realli hope we wont end anymore..i dowan to go thru wat i went thru b4..so pls, don let me be disappointed again..for tis is the last chance u r gg to get..if we go thru another tyme of breakup, its the end of our story.. now, the story continues and i hope it continues for a lifetyme...
i made a decision tt many ppl didn wan me to..but u all noe me, and u al noe tt i would hav made tis decision..i jux hope u cn cherish me now..i noe tt once i made tt decision on sunday..i hav to go thru alot of ppl lookin down on me, tinkin im desperate..scoldin me..naggin me..but for tis, im willin to take all this nonsense...
anw, i love u dear <3
stay here and do tagged..^^
It's Amanda aka Venomous Gal
5 nov '94, scorpio
Gan Eng Seng School
feel free to add me, i wont bite:D