i hav been reali different recently.. im super sensitive, super paranoid and jux different for the bad reasons.. tears r like a part of my everyday life now.and i do not noe y i cry..tears jux flow..talked to N on the fone yesterday and he said im suffering from depression, i went to the net to check for symptoms of it..
and now im reali afraid i reali am suffering from depression.. will u be by side to help me overcome this difficult period? will u help me and nv leave me alone?
Monday, May 24, 2010
yesterday was anco briefin..i dono y, im kinda regrettin it..its fun wif all the sncos and officers, but serious mood is super scary..and ppl are like super imba..plus the hectic tyme and all..so jux hope for the best bahs..
hmm, section nco is nt fun de..and i got a feelin my section tinks im crazy..haha.. today didn went sch..to replenish my lack of slp and coz i hav a freakin bad headache..<3 came down to find me aft his work then acc me to the doc.. i tink <3 has been super nice recently..love him more wif each day..:D
gonna go..its late and thrs x-cpuntry tmrw..needa wake u early..nitex!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
tis totally made my day.. thanks dumb dumb..didn thought u wil change back ur fb r/s status.. im uber happy..:DD
anw, tis sat is GESS carnival and aft tt is ANCO bbq and thn stayover at HQ..nxt day is like ANCO briefin..cool huh? hmm...but i cnt wait, coz i noe i'll hv fun wif <3 and 2 ms poh..hahas..
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
its reali weird how my tinkin has changed..
before, i was like, no matter wat, i wan to noe everitin. straightforward and all..and of coz tt make some ppl hate me or smth
now, i don care if ppl hate me/find me sticky or wateva..coz i wont be anymore.. especially u, i wil do wat i can, wats best for u..reali, so long as u r happy, i don mind if i suffer or wat..
anco'10? seems tt soon i wil be gettin super busy wif anco tings..but i cnt wait for it..however, aft anco and fac..i wil be muggin like siao le..sian:(
<3, don be so anxious to find out wat i givin u..coz its gonna be another few months before u get it :) so yeah..and concentrate on ur studies alright? i wil oways be here by u..i love u dumb dumb..
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
long tyme since i posted huh? oh well, my life has been kind of sucky in the past weeks.. i don like to come home, to a place whr i don feel any warmth..这里突然变得很陌生..i don feel safe here..i feel like a stranger..i feel like im lost..and all i wana/can do is to cry..yet i hv to be strong, i cnt show my tears..thus, at nighttyme, is when im most free, when i cn be who i am..when my tears jux fall freely, when i cn finally show my emotions..
aint life like a stage? whr ppl are merely players..whr we act/decieve/lie to others? but wat is the point? all of us hav an endin point..活在世上是为了欺骗,隐瞒吗? y cnt ppl be truth, isnt it so hard to guess wat ppl r tinkin of? to tink when u r gonna get hurt, get betrayed again?
i had enough, ppl, ur got to noe, i oso hv feelins, don act like ur veri big, don like act all ur tings r important while mine arent, don tink tt coz ur hav a higher statues/popularity thn me makes u able to step over me..jux coz i don say anitin dont mean i don feel anitin..don act like the world revolve around u, don act like ur are always right..i probably am jux a toy to ur huh? a person tt ur wil ask for help but other thn tt, giv me attitude, and do i hav to take all this? no! i had enough, i aint gona giv in anymore..i aint gonna be a tool anymore..i aint gonna be myself anymore..
my keyboards r wet, y the hell am i cryin as i write tis post? amanda ho, giv up bahs, u aint worth a ting to anyone..u aint worth anyting, u r a nobody.算了吧.
stay here and do tagged..^^
It's Amanda aka Venomous Gal
5 nov '94, scorpio
Gan Eng Seng School
feel free to add me, i wont bite:D